I’ve been really open about my life with cancer. I have written and tweeted through all of the ups and downs and tried to be as honest as possible. I want to give others real insight into what it’s like.
This has meant that I’ve created a sense of expectation. Everyone who has been along for the ride is waiting for the next bit of news and feels entitled to it as well.
I’ve chosen to share my experiences because I want to. I hope that if your friends or family go through something like this, you’ll be better equipped to offer support because of something I’ve shared.
So, with full disclosure, here’s something that I’m finding truly hard to cope with: the “when” questions. I am asked by literally everyone when I’ll know about SIRT. And it reminds me that I still don’t know, that I don’t know when I’ll know and I’m currently on no treatment at all.
Because when you’ve got cancer, the whole thing is a waiting game. Wait for scans. Wait for results. Wait to see if treatment is working. Wait for biopsies. Wait for referrals. Wait for reports. Wait for clinic appointments. Wait at the pharmacy. Wait for hospital parking spaces.
The waiting game is a real test and just once I wish that someone would say, “Geez, Amy, I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long to hear back,” instead of, “Any news yet?” or “When will you know?”
Again, this is one of those things that is well meaning and honestly if you feel like I’m writing this about you, don’t worry – it’s basically everyone. Like, e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e.
The reason you don’t find out when you’ll find out is complicated. Maybe the lab has a backlog. Maybe there’s a holiday delaying things. Maybe there’s a weekly meeting on a Wednesday but your scan was on Thursday. You don’t get to know when you’ll know. You just have to wait for a No Caller ID call and hope the news is good.
I do post things either here or on Team Amy on Facebook as soon as I have told my immediate family, so if you’re looking for news that’s a good place to start.
There may also come a day when I don’t want to share anymore. It’s hard to bear my soul so publicly and I totally understand why it’s not for everyone. But for now I’m happy to continue sharing – the good and bad.
So I guess if you know someone who is waiting for some results and they don’t offer you an idea of when they’ll know, don’t hound them for updates. They’ll tell you when they know and also when they’re ready for you to know.